Empowering not Devouring

Everyone handles cancer differently. For me, I found it very empowering to take control of the little things. I am looking back now at the four months of chemo treatments. Shaving my head and sharing that with my husband, son, (not shown) son-in-law and daughter. People who have seen this picture usually ask, “Why are you smiling?” “Weren’t you just destroyed you had to do that?”  

My answer: “I wasn’t happy about it, but I knew it was going to happen and pretending it wasn’t would have devoured me.” 

July 2, 2018

Going through my cancer treatments has been one of the hardest, single most rewarding challenges I had to go through. Why not rather than pity me, feel empowered by me.  

Cancer is life changing. I was blessed to go through it with family, friends, church family and community that loved me. They were my angels on earth. God and my angels lifted me up. There is nothing sad about that. I mean I didn’t derive sadness from it. From where I’m standing, I found power, strength and even more gratitude through this entire process. Still do. 

So much so, that at about 18 months after my last chemo treatment, my hair started breaking off. It was about shoulder length.  I shaved it all off, again.   

Me: April 7, 2020

This doesn’t happen to everyone. I also lost my big toe nails during chemo. Hair and nails are both keratin. Even though I am a licensed professional, it didn’t even cross my mind that when my hair grew back out that it would be any different than before. EVERYTHING is different than before. Why would this be the same?  It’s when things like this happen, you just say ~ “Screw it!”

 All the hair I cut off was full of chemo. I naturally have curly hair. It requires more moisture to stay healthy and not be frizzy; aka ‘cotton ball head’. Chemo damages the bonds of the hair. Although it is temporary, people with straight hair tend to have curly or wavy hair when it is growing back after chemo. Since I have curly hair before chemo, the bonds were taxed to the point of breakage. Ok, I’m getting technical now.  

I pulled it off once before. This time I know I will have healthy hair growing out. Now to just deal with the amount of grey that’s sprinkled in.

With love, healthy and happiness,

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